In today’s era, conversations around mental health and psychological disorders are louder than ever, with discussions on anxiety, bipolar, and narcissism taking center stage. We’ve touched upon leveraging anxiety as a strength, transforming it into “positive anxiety.” Today, let’s delve into the world of narcissism and how it impacts our personal and professional lives.
First and foremost, it’s essential to recognize that we all harbor a touch of narcissism within us – a crucial element for our individual growth.
However, if you find yourself high on the narcissistic scale, instead of suppressing it, consider embracing and understanding it. This is where emotional intelligence comes into play.
In the pursuit of becoming “the best version of ourselves”, be careful. Superficial changes of your personality can erase all of your achievements.
Thanks to narcissism top managers and successful entrepreneurs win.
Where does narcissism come from?
It comes from our childhood and develops in the age between 0-3 years.
Becoming high or low on a narcissistic scale depends on how you coped with a feeling of shame and how caregivers respected your boundaries.
As a child, your caregivers maybe shamed you or didn’t help to cope with the feeling of shame. On top of that, your caregivers either were controlling you entirely or on opposite, were careless and they were absorbed by their own needs.
In the workplace, narcissistic tendencies can manifest in various ways. You may breach boundaries by prying into employees’ personal lives, using a “hot and cold” approach that oscillates between praise and criticism, have office affairs, or setting audacious goals and expecting your team to overwork to achieve them.
This behavior stems from a deep-rooted fear of imperfection, which threatens to expose shame and affect fragile self-esteem. To distance oneself from this shame, the natural inclination is to find a scapegoat. This can lead to a cycle of praise, criticism, and employee turnover.
However, it’s crucial to understand that narcissism isn’t inherently negative. In fact, it can propel you to the pinnacle of success, making you a very successful entrepreneur. Narcissism thrives on independence, control, power, and achievement, driven by the desire for dopamine.
The key lies in how you harness this trait.
Self-awareness is your compass. It helps you identify your inner resources and apply effective strategies for self-management and talent optimization. You are your own business unit – assess your “functions” and moderate them for the best outcomes.
Next time you feel anxious and on the brink of a reaction, pause and reflect:
- Which function is activated within you?
- What is it trying to show you?
- What’s your goal in this situation?
- Which function can you employ to achieve that goal?
Practice makes perfect. It’s okay to momentarily lose control over managing your inner resources – we’re only human.
Consistent practice will enable your brain to employ self-management mechanisms automatically, like second nature.
Embrace your narcissistic tendencies, understand them, and channel them toward your advantage.
It’s not about changing who you are but becoming more adept at managing yourself and others.
Let’s call it “talent management.”
Your brain is your ally, use it wisely.
You might find this quick read helpful: Why is it always about you? By Sandy Hotchkiss.
Whether you’re high on a narcissistic level or you’re facing a narcissist in your workspace, this book has practical instructions about how you can use this opportunity to raise self-awareness and promote reciprocal relationships: at work, home and as a parent.
