What if I told you that you can avoid the dreaded midlife crisis? Whether you’re in your early 30s or 40s, it’s common to experience turbulence and existential questions, questioning the purpose and meaning of life.
Crisis becomes a necessity for a significant change. As I mentioned before in my article “Transition: Rediscovering Meaning in Mid-Life – matters consulting – career coaching (matters-consulting.com)“, it occurs when you reach a milestone and reevaluate your life values, leading to shifting priorities.
The less authentic your life has been, the more challenging this phase will feel.
You’ll find conflicting desires, wavering decisions, and a sense of not living your own life. The dilemmas will drive you crazy—stay or go, maintain relationships or break up, change countries, jobs, buy or sell property, or start something new. People often resort to selling cars, houses, or businesses and embark on a quest for clarity, peace, joy, and happiness.
Living Authentically to Avoid Crisis:
To avoid such heavy crises every decade, living authentically is the key. The truth paves the path to freedom for your soul and is one of the fundamental elements of happiness. If you base your decisions on your core life values, you’ll minimize disappointment, regret, and shame.
You can download a free tool to identify your life values here: Wheel of life values – matters consulting – career coaching (matters-consulting.com)
As you progress in life, your values will change, and their priorities will shift. By identifying your values and their current priorities, you can find joy in your daily life, sidestep crises, and simplify decision-making.
Aligning Your Mind and Heart:
One simple activity can help align your mind and heart when faced with life decisions. Here’s how it works:
- Write down your question. For example: Should I stay or leave
- List at least five things you gain for each option.
- Assign a value that reflects each item. For example: Peace/Calmness, Minimize Risks/Perfection, Friends/Community, Financial Stability/Wealth, Freedom, or Family.
- Rate each value on a scale of 1-10 or highlight the top values.
- Finally, see which option has the top value in the top – that-s the decision that aligns with your heart and mind.
Watch this video that illustrates this tool:
A Practical Example: Let’s apply this activity to a decision between staying or leaving:
Option 1: If I stay for another year, I get:
- More time to prepare for a change – Peace/Calmness (2 out of 10)
- More time to get clarity whether I really want to leave – Minimize Risks/Perfection (2 out of 10)
- No pressure for making a decision – Peace/Calmness (2 out of 10)
- Enjoying more time with friends here – Friends/Community
- Grow my business and strengthen my team before relocating to a new country – Financial Stability/Wealth (2 out of 10)
Option 2: If I leave now, I get:
- Moving to a place I’ve always wanted – Freedom (1 out of 10)
- Stay close to my family – Family (1 out of 10)
- Develop a new market for my existing business – Financial Stability/Wealth (2 out of 10)
- Meeting more like-minded people – Friends/Community (3 out of 10)
- Risk losing the existing business – Financial Stability/Wealth (1 out of 10)
Finding Clarity:
The difficulty in decision-making arises when two top values are closely associated with both options. The internal conflict can be overwhelming.
However, by prioritizing your values, you can gain clarity and confidence in your decision-making process. Keep it simple and true to yourself.
29 more tools to live your authentic life, you can find in the book “How to Love yourself” by Teal Swan.
Link to amazon:How to Love Yourself – Kindle edition by Swan, Teal. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.
And audible: How to Love Yourself by Teal Swan – Audiobook – Audible.com
My favorite technique I have started to apply everyday is asking myself just one simple question, whenever I want to make a decision:
